Trigger 2 wait a minute πŸ›‘ stop today I woke from my night mares I woke ashamed and so nervous and terrified.. hi there your drama your tears πŸ˜­πŸ’” your heart being torn s

Apart it matters. The real truth .we all some times need help.. some time s we don’t have all the answers.. well I know I don’t have all the answers some time s I’m too busy playing the rolt of holding in my tears.. being helpful and positive to everyone but the one person I can’t escape from.. myself I’m in a medical facility I spending more time with myself than usual πŸ˜‰..I ve been experiencing triggers..in my own sleep I wake up from a night mare of my mother smacking me in my face in front of my symblings.. in front of the public.. everyone was laughing at each smack each degration smack across my face and insults she yelled while hitting me in my identity my ..my face.. what I’m discovering that.. my face my body that she often ly best up doesn’t stop me breathing .. it didn’t stop me from surviving.. . It didn’t stop me for being ..strong beautiful creative ☺️ Me.. I tell my determine..to reveal who Iam proud brave heart me.. if you are having triggers that put you in pain.. you are not alone.. depression.panic..may be a result.. with tears it can be scary.. but maybe you can utilize help center s in your area.. maybe πŸ€” you are on the edge you may want to end it all you do deserve the help call,1800sucide.. they will certainly help you with your dilemma..

Trigger sWhat

Set you off what j

Has kept you in pain .. what type who first cause trama.. in .y body how to move forward. How to heal howhs we are survivors.. what should you embrace believe in your self u.are not the only one there is ligy .y photography.what type of art do you do and more this is a short summary of what triggers is to me and love is the key to everything

What is Halloween πŸŽƒ so I some people looked at Halloween as being evil.. I’ve actually looked up were jacklaters you know pumpkin carving s came from England possibly during mid evil times warriors would kill in battle or where so proud they .. you guess it this gruesome.. so get ready the warriors would hang the head s of those that he kill out side there home like awards or sick decorations.. my opinion .. anyway so .. Halloween I didn’t like it why well cause of personal turma.. I’m going to get personal… Da da I was 14 freshman in highschool it was Halloween πŸŽƒ my mom smack white make up on my face..cause I didn’t want to go trick or treating.. it was just another.act of abuse.. people would laugh at me including my own family.. I think my symblings was embrace d of me.. I was embarrassed of me.. it hurted physically emotionally I felt so embarrassed how mother abuse me and enjoy smacking my face my identity. What I face the world with. She was really mean to me.. I always felt like I could not win.. can I admit something as I speak about this one of many events s her hitting and disfiguring my face in front of the world.. I understand more why I hate d my face so scared to look at my face cause I don’t want to see or feel the pain that’s written all over it.. I use to scream at my image. Oh God.. I have a man that adores my face.. he calls me beautiful πŸ₯° he calls me his dream girl.. he mAkes me cry tears of Joy all the time.. but let me get off that I hated Halloween cause the monster was my mother.. so that’s why I use to hate this day I don’t like evil people who put blades and position.. in kids candy. But today I love to embrace Halloween yes I’ve moved forward.. from this Truma.. I love almost everything my favorite candy is Candy corn I can eat them all year round.. and yes there’s and. I love the beautiful color s of the season most people get ready for Christmas and thanksgiving…. I love thrill’s of scary movies such as Micheal Myers Jason, Freddy Krueger’s movies I love how orange it’s constantly on display.. orange looks great on my dark brown skin. The kids excited about getting free candy . I love when I had my art gallery show in NJ at the Ritz theater .. I got to enjoy displaying my work and give out candy for my students I serve lunch to was the artist lunch lady I love this and the play the wz was the Halloween play and I was the featured artists oh and the cast black all star cast like the other wz starting dina Ross Michael Jackson..and more.. this why I like Halloween today

Refugee s and more so what is definition according to my experience as a former volunteer for a non profit business in Las Vegas called African refugees.my interpretation of a refugee is a person or family forced .. with the thereat of their life .. I had the honor to assist the job developer coordinator with filling out job application for employment .. and more ..by utilizing my clerical skills to help these people.. I’m great ful for helping these people threw this organization. I also speak about how I was appreciate it for my service for those who needed my help..in addition I wrote about being able to add joy in my own life threw my and actually add bonus joy in other people s life threw my gift that keeps s giving threw my artistry writing and photography and more .. your welcome to listen in on my podcast show on my Refugees and Gifts podcast show thank you for your time attention love and support

Purple Bruise talks about my life pain that s permanent …I received being stomped out as if I was a bug .. cause I survived

Stumps whips.. cause survived her black eye.. I was …her small child, I was born with red hair and creative heart.. that wants to be loved 😍 from birth I was 6 lbs 11 ounce s the rest of my siblings 9 ten lbs.. fast forward to now I’m a big woman 5 foot9.. size3 x .. I’m in my hospital bed journey recovering from my hernia surgery. I kinda of feel like my 42 years has over worked for a long time….not knowing how to rest felt like I forgot how to breathe.. I forget how to release to busy staying in survive role.. the last year I was constantly being in the ER.. this is my story and my life I notice when I put.. pain medicine on this purple mark on my left side of my back that hurts all the time I go to sleep.. normally I speak to my friend s my body I believe need to recover from so much stress and pain.. dam it I deserve the rest I deserve the pain..to stop . I speak about my mother the RN the pretty lady didn’t love me.. still to this day.. I don’t want her love anymore

Super bored 😩 depressed waking up in tears waking with pain panic and fears I hate this living in pain my hospital bed.. crying out loud to God asking for his help.asking for the strength to help myself.. actually able to walk around.. starting to heal up from being bed and we’ll chair bound trying not to slip and fall. Fighting my mind wonders why I live at all.. my eyes ball out with tears 😭 riddle with pain of us not near my bed side..as I scream out in pain I lay in my bed I wonder is this all in vain.. as I yeal out for Sweet Jesus help. having a problem to help myself.. as I yeal I look to the right where I notice how the sun shines so beautiful and bright 🌞 ok then I think of my man when I was depressed πŸ˜” he would suggest that I always raise my head up many reasons why I love this guy s..super bored Saturday πŸ₯³ as I love and breathe. This day was for me to find fun.. by staring at the light from the sun.. maybe I’m crazy but I believe Our God allow the sun to shine πŸ’Ÿ so I can have the joy I thought I couldn’t fine.. in a life that is mine..

Purpose in your Hospital Bed

There is a community of many..who are living trying to survive in there hospital bed I tell you there is purpose in this situation.. Hi my name is Tamika. I recently woke up in so much pain I couldn’t move some one gave me a tyneol I hate to throw up was throwing up and I streched and found a lump mesh above my belly button I thought I have hernia.. I went to the hospital got x-rayed cat scanned. The doctor diagnose me as having a hernia now I was having problems with my health I had a so many slip and falls cause I was homeless in Las Vegas cause I was homeless and if you’re home less the unethical guards.. heavily armed bully proof vest guards who push the homeless off the bus bullying violating your civil rights as human being.. is the treatment I received from these gurads, I could see if I didn’t pay my fair no my only crime was I closed my eyes πŸ‘€ and went to sleep driver s who knew I was homeless..drive by you even though you are awaiting for the bus so yes In ..Sin city so me not sleeping got back to my adopted home NJ and 2 months being back my insurance pays for my health issues.. I’ve been in my hospital bed for counting today 9 day s since I’ve been bed bound but today I discovered my purpose of encouragement of your you can do it beyond today s painful reality you are forced to go threw in the hospital bed

I found purpose in my pain .. I found purpose in my courage to inform to warn others and to believe in others in there recovery including my own .. recovery healing painful situation ..that I’m living.my pain triggers me to be depressed me not being able to get around you know being mobile me forced to ask from help.

Well people don’t always enjoy helping you move around even though it’s there job .. but being kind is not something people give generously.. some time I got so tired 😩 of crying and crying and crying in pain .. depressed Oppressed about so many things in my own head..by myself but I started creating my photography and podcast called purpose in my hospital bed.. so while I’m alone in my room I just wanted to say you are going to make it you are a survivor your still hear you still have purpose.. mean while I think πŸ€” of way s to add joy excitement in my Life I found in .. purpose in my heart.. unleashed my pain turning it into purpose in my Hospital Bed chronical s I also found out in order to heal you have to cry letting those scars get exposed s and sleep it is necessary learning to find a way to not let avoid stress stop don’t be around people who do not respect you but rect you and stress you out.. I notice I hurt more when I let people of that calibur ,stress me out. I found all this out in my purpose at my hospital bed journey.. thank you so much for letting me share my hospital bed journey with all of you ❀️ God bless everyone

Good helps me see good help me have joy good helps me believe good helps enjoy the hope for tomorrow good helps me to see above today s pain, good helps me to embrace the joy in the mist of the rain good keep s me from going insane.. good support s and me with joy in my strength, . good adds the light of life good helps me view the good that lives in me and the good that lives in you , good makes that frown turn upside down into a smile good allows people to remain determined to be supportive best friends.. good is a gift happy for us all to receive.good makes a better you and a better me

No rest

No rest no peace no answer to the problem, and no rest always worrying no peace no hope no release no justice I can all most choke from the pain and Missouri of people mistreating me for there own gain for my mis use for there gain for abuse no rest no peace always struggling with no release my heart increase with palpations riddle nerves,no one deserves what I m going threw..no rest no peace treated like Iam beast all because I’m in poverty and I live on the street..like I said I have no rest no peace ,I wonder how Im strong enough to survive.. there’s still some good in this world..even for me a homeless loving girl..